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Love Ya


“Love ya” as a parting sentiment at the end of a phone call has been popular for several decades. The intent, I’m pretty sure, is to let the other person know you care about them. Letting them know they hold a special place in your heart assuring them they will be with you until the next conversation. All are important and certainly special to give to another family member or close friend.

It has never been easy for me to use this expression. It’s tone of familiarity rings too casual for the occasions “Love ya” is so often used. Sure, my husband and children exchange this sentiment with me almost 100% of the time we end a phone conversation. It feels good to let them know and to hear from them we have a special place in each other’s heart. I like sending them into the rest of their day with a good, solid feeling of being treasured.

With people who hold a place in my next closest circle of friends I choose not to be so casual with “Love Ya” as a parting salutation. Only occasionally do I ever consider using this parting good bye. Often, at the end of a conversation I refer to an upcoming event or project they have mentioned wishing them success or enjoyment. But to use “love” at the end of casual conversations just doesn’t fit my persona.

All of this being said I have just experienced, for the second time in my life, the occasion when my heart grabs my brain and insists that I utter the words “I Love You” to two lady friends when the sentiment and expression of my honest feelings had to be shared at that moment. Both my friends held that special place of friendship of such a close friend they are almost family. Lynn and I met in our last couple of years of college. We were roommates, confidantes and we shared time with each other within our family circles. Janet and I have been life-long friends since early high school sharing our teen-age adventures, a train-trip across the country and a month of visiting her Canadian family, sharing life’s goal and achievements with the list miles long of shared memories. Love ya wasn’t a standard phrase yet when Lynn and I hung together. In fact a woman saying I love you, in any form, to another woman, wasn’t accepted phrasing in the ‘70’s.

With each of my best-friends a time arrived when my soul insisted that at the end of each particular phone call I MUST end with “I love you” saying it s l o w and with intent. Once the words left my lips my body felt full and relaxed. I was filled with assurance I had said the right thing at the right time and it had been received 1,000’s of miles away.

But my experience doesn’t end here. Both of my cherished, close, close friends unexpectedly died within a week of our last phone calls. I love you continues to hold a deep seeded and precious meaning to me. It’s the love that I hold dear and precious as it comes from the folds of my soul when it is most needed by each participating party: the receiver and the giver. Everyone, same and opposite gender friends deserve to hear this gift of honest appreciation and joy. Time with those we love is in short commodity. Don’t hesitate to shine your light on those you love soon and often. It was just this week this lesson came back to me.

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Mike Salsbury
Mike Salsbury
Jul 16, 2022

My sincere condolences upon the recent passing of your two dear friends, Pam. This is not only a fair reflection on a common practice but a beautiful tribute to your friends. Blessings!

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Lenore…thanks for the encouragement to keep working on what I’ve written so far about my kidney transplant. Hopefully it’ll be in first draft mode for me to be a reader at one of our meetings before this year ends. 🤞😄

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Unknown member
Jul 16, 2022

Pam, this is a wonderful story! It is something to submit to a variety of publications.

Very meaningful and relevant! Great job!

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Nancy Renko
Nancy Renko
Jul 27, 2022
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Pam, I am reminded how important it is for us to use our words with intent. I am sure it gave you comfort to know that you shared your heart with your friends and not just in a casual way. Thanks for sharing this .

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